Love, maybe. Probably not.

I'm about to get really serious and personal. I'll try to offset it with images, because I know that hardly anyone is particularly interested in what I'm about to say.

The other day, I was asked if I had "ever been loved someone". Apart from making fun of the question asker (and being slightly unsure of what he was actually asking), I answered: yes, I believe that I have; regardless of whether or not he meant if I'd loved or been loved.

It was a cheeky answer, because I purposefully misinterpreted it. Almost everyone has loved, at some point or another, whether it be their parents or friends or pets or something as simple as an article of clothing. But the real question was whether or not I'd been in love, with reciprocated feelings.

...To which I've got an exponentially longer answer.

The gist of it: I don't actually know.

There's no way I could answer for the boys in question, so I'll just go ahead and skip that part.

As for myself, there are times in which I say, "definitely, yes", but I'm really not experienced enough in that field to justify myself. I have, however, felt a pull so strong that I've devoted months of my life to it. I've cared so much for a guy that I would've been there for him no matter what. I've even smiled too much to keep kissing properly, and sometimes I feel like that's about as in love as it gets.

But I also know that love comes with the kind of vulnerability that causes heartbreak. In the closest I've felt to love, I didn't give enough of myself away to really feel the loss--and how could I have been in love if I didn't even care enough to cry when it was over?

So... after that, I suppose I think my answer is no. But really, I'm more than happy just sitting here squeezing the juice out of this aloe vera plant for the time being. It's very entertaining.

Today, I: Looked at fish, painted the hell out of a wall... ate a sandwich... almost contracted cancer... the normal stuff.

I LOVE: fat and long bunnies...

College in: WHAT A STUPID SECTION

Recent google searches includes: "kitten in mouth japanese girl"

p.s. I've really got to stop talking about such personal things on the internet. The last time I did this, it ended very badly and I'm still terribly embarrassed about it.